Today I was brave. While standing in line at Fedex/Kinko's I overheard a man swearing while talking on a cell phone. He was using the F word repeatedly while talking in a loud and agitated voice. I am not exaggerating when I say he used it 50-60 times in two minutes. Customers and employees looked nervously at each other and laughed. We tolerated his tyrade for two or three minutes then I looked over and noticed a little girl about three years old peeking nervously from behind a display. Her mother, standing at the counter was oblivious to the tyrade and the nervous child. I acted instantly. I stormed up to the guy, who had his back turned to me. I stabbed him in the arm with my index finger. He jumped and I yelled, "See that little girl? Have some respect." I turned and walked away. His reaction was to attack. He called me a F-ing rhymes with Witch and said, "Don't you F-ing touch me." I never looked at him again. The lady in line in front of me got out of line and said, "Listen buddy you better get out of here before I call the police." Two fedex workers walked from behind the counter and grabbed him by each elbow while the lady held the door. They physically tossed him out. None of us looked at each other or said anything and within seconds it was as if the man did not exist.
I am ashamed that it took me two minutes to act, but once I did many other people immediately took an active role. All it took was one person to motivate others. In my psychology education we watched films about test subjects who could clearly hear that an accident had happened out of sight and they would all sit motionless waiting for someone else to rise. Even as the person moaned in agony they sat. Once a single person rose, they all rushed to the scene of the accident. How have we become such sheep? A room full of men would not or could not confront this jerk. He was clearly bothering everybody and yet we did nothing. Even though we were being assaulted with words, we stood the abuse. I am not sure what the remedy is, except to know what you stand for and then you will know what to do in most situations.
3 comments:
You are awesome, Kathy. I got goosebumps reading about your experience. Its definitely easier to say something when there are children around. I really feel like saying - Hey, I got virgin ears - take it somewhere else. But I'm too chicken. Thanks for your example!!!
I am so proud of you. I need to be more like that. I saw a study about some people in a room, and then from under a door some smoke came out, then a fire alarm. All but one person was in on the study... well even though there was an "obvious" fire, no one moved... and so neither did the test person. Everyone could have died! HELLO.... FIRE!
I should have added that the one thing I always stand firm on, is the welfare of children. I once called the police when I heard secondhand about a possible molestation. The person who told me was so mad because they knew it must have been me and I just had to say, "You are an adult and you can take care of your hurt feelings. Children cannot defend themselves, so somebody has to when their parents fail." The authorities have to investigate the matter. The alleged molester in the case got off due to lack of evidence, but I got a call from police six years later asking me about details in the case. Confidentiality would not allow them to say why they were calling. I learned later that the molester was convicted for crimes against his own very young child and was sent to prison.
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