To Homeschool or Not

Until recently I never had an opinion about homeschooling. I personally loathed attending school, for the most part. I often wondered if I would have benefitted from being homeschooled. I was a day dreamer and I would spend most of the day looking out the window at the world passing me by. However, I now see the value of a bricks and mortar school setting.

A woman brought her homeschooled child to his first guitar lesson. She had been teaching him to play guitar by reading notes out of a book. She emailed the day after that first lesson and quit, writing, "I am not willing to pay for something I can do myself." Now I feel compelled to explain that Jerry's guitar lessons are fun, low pressure, and every student walks away being able to play something from day one. Jerry called this woman back and explained that there is a lot more to playing guitar than reading notes off a page. Unless you have been in the trenches you cannot possibly know that instead of playing the difficult Am7 chord you could play the easier C over G chord and get the same sound. This principle applies to math, biology, history and every other field of study. Those who are experts in any subject can convey the beauty and simplicity of complex ideas. The woman replied to Jerry, "There is nothing my child needs to know that I cannot teach him."

I thought about that statement for a few days. This mother is likely going to instill stupidity. What is the point of a head full of knowledge but a stupid approach to life? I am sure that those who homeschool probably have the opposite goal. I don't mean stupid as in unintelligent, but stupid as in uninformed. The credential for elementary education is a long learning path. Those with a credential know things that the average person does not know about education, learning styles, and behavior.

I am sure that there are some great things about homeschooling, but there are drawbacks too. Every family has some level of dysfunction from being too close or enmeshed to being too distant. Kids need a few hours each day, separate from the family, to figure out who they are in the world without constant parental feedback. Time spent on the playground gives kids the chance to form relationships outside the watchful eye of their parents. These relationships are crucial to development. Kids get feedback from their peers ranging from, "I don't like you" to "You are my best friend."

There is no other setting including karate, ballet, and sunday school that compares to school. You start the year not knowing anybody. Over time you develop relationships with the teacher and other students in a comprehensive, intense setting. You learn what others expect out of you. You get to inform others what you expect out of them. You get daily feedback from adults outside your family. And then the school year closes and you have to say goodbye to people you have learned to love or loathe. School is much more than an education. You get to experience love, anger, exhilaration, boredom, frustration, joy, and loss in a controlled way.

I would bet that everyone who ever attended school had at least one teacher who changed their life. Mentors are invaluable. There is more to life than education. I never thought about homeschooling before, but I would say that the educational shortfalls from attending public school can be made up for later in life. I know this from my own experience. When I entered college my writing skills were lacking. I figured out what I needed to improve and I worked on the weak areas. There is only one chance to learn the social nuances of being five, eight, or seventeen years old with other kids of the same age.